Gentlemen,

Let’s be honest, something doesn’t feel right, does it? If you’re feeling off, stuck, or just not yourself, I hear you. Maybe you’re questioning the role of men in today’s world. Maybe you feel like you’re drifting, going through the motions but not really living. If this hits home, this letter is for you.

I want men to access the support they deserve.

I’ve been there. I’ve made mistakes I regret. I’ve survived mental and emotional abuse and battled my own mental health demons. I’ve felt trapped in cycles of self-destruction, unsure how to break free. But the biggest shift came when I made a choice: to stop drowning and accept the outstretched hand of someone who wanted to help.

Consider this letter an outstretched hand.

I’m not writing from the summit, claiming to have all the answers. I’m on the climb too; just a few steps ahead. I can see what’s on the horizon and want to help others navigate a way through.

Take a moment. Be brutally honest with yourself:

How are you actually feeling right now?

*️⃣ Are you happy, overwhelmed, anxious, angry or stuck?

*️⃣ Do you feel trapped, hopeless, or lost?

*️⃣ What are you working towards?

*️⃣ Are you going through the motions, or living with intent?

*️⃣ Who are you modelling your behaviour after, and does it align with the man you truly want to be?

Masculinity needs a comeback. Not the outdated version built on dominance and suppression, but one anchored in strength, integrity, and accountability.

Some men, wounded by life, are weaponizing their pain instead of doing the hard work to heal. The masculinity I’m talking about doesn’t build egos by tearing others down. It owns its mistakes, acknowledges when help is needed, and gets to work repairing the damage.

This isn’t about blaming anyone for how we got here. Blame keeps us stuck; action moves us forward. We must forgive those who hurt us, not necessarily because they deserve it, but because we deserve peace. We must also forgive ourselves for the actions we’re not proud of and learn from those mistakes.

“The strongest men aren’t those who never fall; they’re the ones who get back up time and again.”

💪 Prioritising our mental, emotional, and physical well-being isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

💪 Expressing our needs isn’t weak; it’s courageous.

💪 Learning to regulate our emotions isn’t just a skill; it’s our response-ability, literally.

Growth isn’t about perfection; it’s about consistent improvement over time. We are capable of far more than we’ve been led to believe; it’s time to prove it.

✔️ Emotional courage: Facing our demons instead of projecting them onto others

✔️ Community: Surrounding ourselves with other men committed to growth

✔️ Integrity: Doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching

✔️ Vulnerability: Communicating needs authentically despite discomfort

✔️ Accountability: Admitting when we’re wrong without taking it personally

✔️ Resilience: Embracing the hard work required to change

✔️ Humility: Accepting that we don’t have all the answers

✔️ Connection: Reaching out rather than suffering in silence

We need to be the men we needed when we were younger: steady, reliable, willing to face discomfort head-on.

If we weren’t taught how to be strong, healthy men, then it’s time to find a teacher.

Think of it like training for a sport. We can show up on game day without preparation and hope for the best, or we can put in the work, recruit a coach to provide guidance, skills and knowledge, and improve over time. The same applies here.

You don’t need to wake up at 4am and follow an outrageous morning routine to make progress; start small:

👉 This week, reach out to someone you trust and start the conversation.

👉 Find one book, podcast, or video that challenges your idea of masculinity.

👉 Commit to one practice that builds resilience: journaling, exercise, mindfulness, therapy, men’s groups. Do it once, then do it again.

In a world that feels more divided than ever, connection is everything. Isolation is the silent killer of men. The more disconnected we are, the easier it is to believe the lie that “no one understands, no one cares,” and that “we must carry everything alone.”

The truth is quite the opposite: there are people who care, who understand, and who are willing to help lighten the load. It’s up to us to find them and get to work so that the cycle of pain stops with us.

Finding support is critical, but not all support is created equal. The right support:

✅ Provides a judgment-free space where you can speak your truth

✅ Comes from someone who genuinely has your best interests at heart

✅ Listens to understand without projecting their own story onto yours

✅ Helps you recognise patterns that once protected you but no longer serve you

✅ Creates safety for exploring difficult emotions without shame

The right support doesn’t solve your problems for you, it arms you with tools to solve them yourself.

1️⃣ “Doesn’t asking for help make me weak?”

Asking for help takes courage. Would you consider a soldier who calls for backup weak or smart?

2️⃣ “What if I’m just complaining about nothing?”

Your struggles are valid. Mental health isn’t about comparing pain; it’s about addressing what’s affecting your quality of life.

3️⃣ “Can I really change at this point?”

The brain’s neuroplasticity continues throughout life. Change is always possible with the right approach.

4️⃣ “What if someone finds out I’m getting help?”

Confidentiality is a cornerstone of professional support. Besides, more men than you realise are already seeking help.

If you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is the sign.

Enough waiting for things to get better.

Enough carrying it all alone.

Help is there; take it.

Reach out, start small, but start. Because the world needs men who show up; for themselves, for others, and for what truly matters.

With respect,

Sean Menere – Registered Counsellor

Solid Foundations Counselling