When someone you care about is struggling with depression, it’s hard to know what to do.

You want to say the right thing – but you’re afraid of making it worse.

You want to be there for them – but you don’t know what actually helps.

You feel helpless – because no matter what you do, they still seem stuck.

The truth? You don’t need to have all the answers.

But your support does make a difference. Here’s how to help – without overwhelming yourself in the process.

Depression isn’t just feeling sad. It’s an overwhelming sense of:

Emotional exhaustion – even the smallest tasks feel impossible.

Isolation – even surrounded by people, they may feel disconnected.

Hopelessness – they may struggle to see a way forward.

What this means for you: If your friend seems distant or unresponsive, it’s not personal. Depression makes it hard to engage. Your presence still matters—even when they don’t show it.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is listen – without trying to fix.

What Helps:

“I’m here for you.”

“I care about you, and you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“I may not fully understand, but I want to support you.”

“It’s okay to feel this way. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.”

What to Avoid:

“Just think positive.” (Depression isn’t a choice.)

“It could be worse.” (This minimizes their struggle.)

“You have so much to be grateful for.” (Gratitude doesn’t cure depression.)

“Snap out of it.” (If they could, they already would.)

Your role isn’t to solve their pain – it’s to remind them they’re not alone in it.

When someone is depressed, even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Small acts of kindness can be life-changing.

Check in regularly – even if they don’t respond, knowing you care matters.

Help with everyday tasks – offer to cook a meal, run errands, or clean up.

Encourage professional support – gently suggest counselling if they’re open to it.

Saying “Let me know if you need anything” is well-intentioned – but specific offers are more helpful. Try:

“I’m heading to the store – can I grab anything for you?”

“I’d love to take a walk with you this weekend.”

“I’ll drop off some dinner tonight – no need to do anything.”

Depression doesn’t disappear overnight. There will be good days and bad days.

If they cancel plans, don’t take it personally.

If they withdraw, remind them you’re still there.

If they’re irritable, understand it’s not about you.

Progress isn’t always visible – but your steady presence helps more than you know.

Supporting someone with depression is emotionally demanding. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Check in with yourself – Are you feeling drained? Overwhelmed? Resentful?

Know your limits – You can’t be their only support. Encourage them to seek professional help.

Take breaks when needed – It’s okay to step back and recharge.

You’re not abandoning them – you’re making sure you have the energy to truly be there.

If your loved one expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, take it seriously.

Signs to watch for:

Talking about feeling hopeless or like a burden.

Withdrawing completely from others.

Giving away possessions or saying goodbye.

Sudden calm after extreme distress.

What to do:

Stay with them and offer reassurance.

Encourage them to call a helpline or seek urgent professional help.

If they’re in immediate danger, call 000 (Australia) or the appropriate emergency service in your country.

You are not responsible for saving them – but you can help them get the support they need.

You don’t need to fix your loved one. You don’t need to have all the right words.

What matters most? Showing up. Listening. Reminding them they’re not alone.

If you or your loved one could use some extra support reach out or book a time to chat, because help is available, and hope is possible.